Demons Need Education Too
by Idle Stripe
Summary: A short story in which Cloud is nervous, Chaos is clueless and Tora is a teacher.


_**-Demons Need Education, Too-**_

_**-A 'Final Fantasy VII' fanfiction-**_

=^w^=

Amber liquid dripped off Tora's nose and chin as she blinked the worst of it out of her eyes, staring at Cloud through the alcoholic haze that he'd sprayed all over her. Coughing to remove the drink from his lungs, Cloud hurriedly grabbed a napkin and wiped the offending stuff away from his partner's face, his blue eyes still staring as if she'd just grown an extra head.

"No, I am not kidding," Tora said when the napkin was finally removed, "Chaos asked me to teach him how sex between humans worked."

"And you agreed to it?" the swordsman asked, incredulous.

"It was more of a statement than a question, partly because I think he knows I've yet to talk about it with some of my older children, and partly because I think Vincent won't talk about it at all."

"Still...you _agreed_?" Tora rolled her eyes and ordered her partner another drink, passing it to him and downing her own.

"I get the feeling you need it more than I do. Good thing we don't get drunk as fast as others, hey?" She jabbed her thumb over at another corner of 'Seventh Heaven', where Cid was demonstrating what else his spear could do beside poke holes the size of a tennis ball into people's chests. Yuffie was drunkenly cheering him on, waving around a shot glass that never seemed to be empty.

Cloud took a breath. "How exactly are you going to approach this? Chaos isn't exactly a child."

"We all need to start somewhere, Cloud," Tora ran her fingers through her hair, "and I think I know where to start. Come on, you're going to help me; you need to take me home, anyway."

=^w^=

"Do you know the mechanics of the human reproductive system?"

"Having spent the better part of thirty years with my host, I think I know enough about the male reproductive system than I really care to want to know about. In regards to females, I begrudgingly admit I am at a loss."

"This is a bad idea..."

"Cloud...do you understand how the male reproductive part works?" At the blank stare from the demon, Tora faltered slightly and scratched her head, her stubborn refusal to say the word 'penis' complicating matters further. Cloud nervously twisted his hands in his lap as a way of keeping his mind off the impending questioning he would probably receive. It was really the only reason he was there; Tora wasn't male and therefore had no real understanding of the male reproductive system. She was playing this all by ear.

"Alright, let's start at the beginning. Do you know the name of the male reproductive part?" Chaos nodded, "Good, at least I don't have to tell you that. Now, in order for sex to work between two humans, whether they be male and female or same gender couplings, there has to be a level of arousal. Being a demon, you've probably smelt the hormone spike at some point."

"Yes child, and may I say it's a putrid smell." The demon stretched out his large leathery wings and repositioned himself in the chair, "What did you mean by same gender couplings?"

"Sex isn't restricted to a male and female coupling. Two men or two women can also have sex, but the mechanics are different. I'll answer your questions at the end," Chaos put his claw down, "Alright, when humans have that hormone spike it often means that they need a level of release in order to calm themselves down. Primitive, but that's the way it works. Kissing can often start the hormone spike, but other factors such as alcohol, a sudden onslaught of erotic thoughts, or – what, Cloud?"

"Are you sure this is the way to go about it?"

"Would you rather show Chaos how it works?"

"I wouldn't mind that." Dumbfounded, Tora rounded on Chaos, "I have been told by my host that you two have not yet indulged in this type of primitive coupling." Vincent was going to get a round or seventeen put into him...Dragging a hand down her face, Tora pulled herself up to her full height and faced the demon resolutely.

"There will be _no_ demonstration. The male puts his reproductive organ inside the female reproductive organ, there is friction, and after a while both hormone spikes will have calmed down with the release of said hormones. Don't ask me to go into any further detail; ask someone else." Gold eyes flashed, "That is basically how sex between a male and a female human works. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to deal with the migraine threatening to blind me; it's like having Geostigma all over again..." Frustrated, Tora left the room and, when the door was closed, let out a long, loud groan.

Chaos blinked. "That's it?"

"In essence, yes." Cloud replied.

"So how would sex between two humans of the same gender work?" Cloud quickly vacated the room, "Child, I have a question!" Standing up, Chaos followed the path the orphanage owner had taken, intent on having his questions answered.

=^w^=

"...he really asked you that?" Vincent blinked down at the orphanage owner sprawled out on the floor of the orphanage's main living room. Tora nodded.

"He even requested a demonstration of same-gender coupling," she replied, "I was so close to yanking on one of his wings."

"When it comes to matters of the body, I refuse to speak about them. I apologise if you were placed in an uncomfortable situation."

"Don't panic about it. I now know what not to say to the older children when it's time to give them the same type of talk."

"_Host! I have a question for the child!"_

'_Hush.' _

"_Ask her about human sex and special occasion." _

'_I beg your pardon?'_

"_Is human sex restricted to special occasion only or is it something humans indulge in whenever they have a hormone spike?"_

'_No wonder Tora nearly yanked your wings...' _

"Tora, Chaos would like to know about human sex and its relation to special occasion." Tora groaned and closed her mouth tightly, stubbornly refusing to answer the question. Damn demon could just find out for himself if he was so curious...

=^w^=

**Author's Note: Chaos calls Tora 'child' because he doesn't quite see how she's related to Vincent's student – her father – just yet. In time, he will. **

=^w^=

_**DISCLAIMER: The disclaimer applies to the characters and settings of the 'Final Fantasy VII' series – SquareEnix – and Tora Altona and the Lost Pathways Orphanage – me. **_


End file.
